Tuesday, February 21, 2012

B is for Beans! B is for Brain, and the way mine hops around!

So I just made this fantastic batch of spicy black beans with cilantro and lime for lunch, and, well, I'm one of those people. One of the hummers. (*laugh*)

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So there I am, humming "Beans, beans, the magical fruit..." because, as you know, this is an absolute requirement for bean-eating experiences, and then my brain picks up on the word "fruit" and somehow ties it inexplicably to Kumquats, as of course I had just read Michael's latest Ermingard installment over at Hypothetically Writing (formerly Writer with a Slinky; see link in side-bar).

And, well, you know. Kumquats.

Does anyone actually eat those blasted things for enjoyment? I mean this question in earnest.

Long, long ago, in a city far, far away, I, my boyfriend and my roommate would have wine nights. Pretty self explanatory. To accompany the wine we usually did platters of cheese, chocolate and fruit, and would spend the evening focused on the diehard task of getting incredibly, irrevocably wine-smashed. Tough life, right? Anyhow, we tried to incorporate new flavors. Enter Kumquats.


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 I don't really know what I was expecting; they look like such innocent, innocuous little fruits. Don't believe it! Holy Batman!  Imagine the bitterest, tartest, sourest thing you've ever dare let touch your tongue. Now imagine a plane of existence in which everything--time, space, FLAVOR--is infinite. Now let that bitter, tart, sour thing completely and utterly overpower your poor, whimpering taste buds with the power of the Infinite.

I repeat, eeeew.

Certainly not a fruit to attempt with wine. Or perhaps with anything else. I can see how they would be good for recipes; cocktails, sauces, that  kind of thing. But for eating on a nice, relaxing Wine Night?! Forget it!

While we're on the subject of cooking (alright, not that we were, not quite; not really), if anyone who might happen to peruse my recipes is living a/o cooking at a high altitude, completely disregard everything I've written about liquid and fat/oil/butter measurements. I've never had to make so many squirelly alterations to recipes in my whole life, ha! But it's fun. The only one I have ironed out fairly well is the scone recipe, and I think that's because I've been making them for so long.

Anywhosers, to those of you folks who are not privy to the wondrous sing-songs devoted to beans, here's the words to the one that got my brain going:

Beans, beans; the magical fruit...
the more you eat, the more you toot!
The more you toot, the better you feel,
so let's eat beans at every meal!

Classy, I know. You're welcome. Ha!

1 comment:

  1. I'm not in much danger of cooking at high altitude - or any altitude, really :P